Places to Go

I'm liking lists these days. Here's a list of places I want to go. Really, really bad.

Dublin
Barcelona (I just saw it on Trading Spaces and it looks fabulous)
Singapore (you get fined tons of money if you spit gum on the ground)
Moscow (before the Iron Curtain falls again!)
Buenos Aires
Sydney
New Zealand
Austria
Rio de Janeiro
Chile
Italy!
London
New York
Nepal, India
Costa Rica

Random words

Some random words from the past few weeks...

Here's the trick: Not to do things that please God, but to do things because they please God.
I'm really annoyed that You'd offer forgiveness - and even more, anointing - to someone who was such a jerk to me.
Here's what I keep forgetting: God is for us, not against us.
Goal: to live as cheaply as possible so I don't have to work as much.
Not a fan of people who always know what they believe.
The roadsign to my adulthood: Welcome to the Haze.

Christina and Kevins' wedding was so cute. I'm really glad I got to see it. I hope I look as beautiful as she did when I get married. Got nine high school girls staying at my house until Thursday. This week I learned it is better to give than to receive. At least, it's more fun. Spent $45 at Shop-n-Save to decorate the upstairs for them. A $10 chair...how could it get better than a $10 chair?! Jeremiah, if you're reading this, I hope you come back some day to work at Shop-n-Save again. Right now, I'm reading Blue Like Jazz (Non-religious thoughts on Christian spirituality) by Donald Miller. It's a HIGHLY recommended book, if my opinion counts. And I think it does. Good night :)

www.booksforsoldiers.com

Divorce

My mom and dad signed their divorce papers today. I can't really even explain how it seems to me that you could just end 25 years of marriage with the stroke of a pen. I imagine them sitting together at the kitchen table signing the papers. Were they both crying? Was it just my mom? How would it feel to be in that position? It breaks my heart. I seriously never thought my parents would get divorced. I bet everyone says that, huh? Or maybe not. That it was always other people's parents. I can officially say now, my parents are divorced. I guess it never really struck me before because they were technically still married, you know? It's so sad.... tragic. Makes for heavy hearts.

A dear friend

Extra prayers for Brooke tonight, people...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

A beautiful, relaxing evening tonight - thank you, Lord! I took a bike ride and went to a hill to watch the sunset. Did any of you see it? Totally amazing and just the quiet moment my soul needed to re-center. I need to tell you...anyone who's reading this...that I care for you immensely and I think you're amazing. Good night!

It's a Holy Spirit thing...

It's *got* to be the Holy Spirit that's making my heart pound like this. The only other times I've felt this way are when I'm being prompted to talk to strangers about Jesus. So I say...welcome to my world, Holy Spirit. I'm looking at websites about different YWAM (Youth With a Mission) locations and knowing, KNOWING....I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! I'm called to travel. Where? Anywhere, hopefully everywhere =) There's a base in Dublin, my favorite city when I visited Ireland. There are bases in Latin America, Africa, other places in Europe. Two decisions to make: Where to go? and How soon? Lord, please show me these answers. I've included the links to some of the sites I've been looking at. Maybe you can see if your heart starts pounding too. Ireland, anyone? =)

http://www.crosssearch.com/Ministry/Missions/

http://www.spd.dcu.ie/main/academic/index.shtml

Lessons Learned

Back from my trip now, and the return is bittersweet. I spent the whole ride home scheming about ways to get rid of my cell phone and live as cheaply as possible. I'd like to be a hippie someday soon. After 9 days of living out of a suitcase, my life at home suddenly seems really high maintenance. I'll spend tomorrow getting rid of school papers from 7th grade. Is it unusual to keep stuff for that long? I had a daydream that I was packing things into my car and I could only keep what I could fit in there. I started with my Bible and guitar amp. I am drawing a blank as to what else I would want to take with me. Is it possible that I wouldn't need anything else? More likely, I'm just too tired to think of things right now. Lesson learned: Late-night journals are paradoxically inspiring and uninspired.

Jessica, Alena and I read about half of Fannie Flagg's book, "Coming Attractions" over the course of the roadtrip. We laughed, we cried, and I am here to wholeheartedly recommend the book. Reading together was one of the nicest memories of the trip for me. Books are definitely underrated. Lesson learned: Before you burn down your malt shop, make sure you'll receive enough insurance money to make the endeavor worthwhile.

I had a vision today. No, not the daydream...this is a different one. I realized that being married to someone would be like being on a roadtrip with them, except even more vulnerable. And FOREVER. Oh dear...I had a great, amazing time on the trip, but Hannah Hurnard is right: love DOES always go with pain. I wish I could convince myself that I can be a Christian and be sanctified by Christ all alone and anonymous, but the gospels (to my frustration) won't let me forget that my redemption is worked out in relationship. Jesus was in close relationship all the time. How in the world did he manage...? Lesson learned: I'm going to need divine strength if I ever hope to stick with an intimate relationship with my future spouse forever. Yikes. One day at a time.

Thought for the day, in honor of Mrs. Dot: "Go with Sorrow and Suffering, and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, put your hands in theirs confidently, and they will take you exactly where I want you to go" (Hurnard, Hinds' Feet)

In the midst of a storm...really.

Thunderstorm tonight in Las Vegas. It's really cool. Jessica and I stood at the window watching, unable to stand in the middle of it because Grandma warns of dust in the eyes. Too bad. It's been an awesome trip so far - God has answered everyone's prayers - thank you!! Been working through some interpersonal stuff. Okay, let's be honest: it's *intra*personal. Trying to keep most of it from leaking out of my head and contaminating relationships that are really quite alright. Learning how to keep quiet (what a concept) and react differently, and better, to irritations. Teaching an old dog new tricks? With God, all things are possible. Reading John Grisham instead of the Bible. Lord help us all!! :)

these are craaazy times. 

Chaos in my head

Hi all! My first post. This is a great thing. Went on a walk this morning and decided I'm going to move somewhere quiet. Maybe tomorrow. So many cars - did they KNOW they were disturbing my peace?! Well anyway, what started out as a beautiful walk with Jesus ended in me being all pissed off and only able to think about how desperately I wish the world centered on me. George MacDonald says that the evil things that appear at our worst times aren't just manifestations of a bad day. They were within us all along. God uses situations to show us what we're really made of so we can fight against it. At this moment, though, my frustration is directed instead on all the cars and the ills of industry and technology. God, redirect my anger and refine my soul. Ugly, ugly, ugly...