Lessons Learned

Back from my trip now, and the return is bittersweet. I spent the whole ride home scheming about ways to get rid of my cell phone and live as cheaply as possible. I'd like to be a hippie someday soon. After 9 days of living out of a suitcase, my life at home suddenly seems really high maintenance. I'll spend tomorrow getting rid of school papers from 7th grade. Is it unusual to keep stuff for that long? I had a daydream that I was packing things into my car and I could only keep what I could fit in there. I started with my Bible and guitar amp. I am drawing a blank as to what else I would want to take with me. Is it possible that I wouldn't need anything else? More likely, I'm just too tired to think of things right now. Lesson learned: Late-night journals are paradoxically inspiring and uninspired.

Jessica, Alena and I read about half of Fannie Flagg's book, "Coming Attractions" over the course of the roadtrip. We laughed, we cried, and I am here to wholeheartedly recommend the book. Reading together was one of the nicest memories of the trip for me. Books are definitely underrated. Lesson learned: Before you burn down your malt shop, make sure you'll receive enough insurance money to make the endeavor worthwhile.

I had a vision today. No, not the daydream...this is a different one. I realized that being married to someone would be like being on a roadtrip with them, except even more vulnerable. And FOREVER. Oh dear...I had a great, amazing time on the trip, but Hannah Hurnard is right: love DOES always go with pain. I wish I could convince myself that I can be a Christian and be sanctified by Christ all alone and anonymous, but the gospels (to my frustration) won't let me forget that my redemption is worked out in relationship. Jesus was in close relationship all the time. How in the world did he manage...? Lesson learned: I'm going to need divine strength if I ever hope to stick with an intimate relationship with my future spouse forever. Yikes. One day at a time.

Thought for the day, in honor of Mrs. Dot: "Go with Sorrow and Suffering, and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, put your hands in theirs confidently, and they will take you exactly where I want you to go" (Hurnard, Hinds' Feet)