silence

"A young man asks me how to face the dryness, sometimes the emptiness, of his prayer. When, in their heart of hearts, someone knows they are loved forever and ever, they are not afraid to wait in silence, even if some silences were to last until death" (Brother Roger, Taize).

Taize really emphasizes silence - actual silence, and inner peace of heart - as a way for God to communicate with us and be present in us. I know that sounds kind of New Age, but it is definitely Biblical. There are 10 minutes of silence built into each prayer service. Lately I have spent this time reading the Bible or daydreaming about home or sometimes making to-do lists. But tonight I decided just to listen and see if God spoke.

I didn't hear his voice, but He did give me eyes to see something internal. I'll give you some words from my journal:

In the inner silence of my soul, sun reflects off the sound of crashing waves and scenes of the Sacre Coeur from "Amelie" play in sweet, endless cycles. It is a deep inner life of beauty and color and simple, profound moments. It is continually flowing forth and expressing, which may be why I incessantly talk, and write, and sing. Inside it is silent but eternally communicating - His Spirit existing through my heart takes on unique shades and a combination of tones. Love expressing itself in color and music; a fullness of joy.

This inner life will thrive and breathe and grow in a favela or a private boarding school, in the gutter and on the balcony of an Italian villa, laughing with the stable and the deranged, loving from a position of servitude and of leadership, talking and listening with the heart, in arid climates and freezing cold, in the heat of the day and covertly at night, through music and silence, sitting on straw mats and eating off of fine china.

Though my eyes grow blind, this life will see how to heal. When I am tired, this Spirit will remain willing. This is the space in me where God lives - the source at the center of my heart from which He pours out His love to those He draws into my life.