Tonight the church became flesh. A group of broken and beautiful people boasting reconciled relationships, triumphing over Satan's plans for division through the medium of laughter and a lame TV show.
Thank God for Lost.
Friday, May 30
Saturday, May 24
and so it is
I want to emerge for a second from today's saturated state of melancholy and shake the sadness from my eyes so I can see truth and glory. I want to celebrate God today. This is my birthday reflection.
I wouldn't exactly call it a quarter-life crisis. But it has been a struggle to squash thoughts of where I thought I'd be in life as I entered this new and golden year. It is important I fight this battle. I get confused and panicked when I give weight to vague expectations and standards, and my own condemnation. It has been my challenge this week to climb out of the mire and perch on the edge, whence I can view my life from God's perspective. Fresh, clean air. New life.
I repeat it often to convince myself: He isn't disappointed in me. And I know it is true. He knew I would be exactly at this spot on the eve of my 24th birthday, having accomplished very little, and also very much. Having reached a place where I am starting to be less concerned about accomplishing anything at all. This is progress.
This season of my life must be allowed to simply unfold. My mind cleared of specific goals and expectations, I find short- and long-term planning impossible. So I am trying this new experiment: I live each day as it comes. The benefit is that I can breathe. The challenge is that I don't understand the greater purpose behind everything I do each day and sometimes this freaks me out. Maybe my biggest fear is meaninglessness.
But I like being carried by life right now instead of paddling to beat the current.
Faithful.
God has been committed to seeing me through this year even when I've been ready to throw in the towel, when I don't want to do life anymore. He continues to poke and prod me toward a better existence. He has been my constant companion.
I don't know what 24 brings. But I give thanks for the unexpected happenings of 23: A year of Christian missions administration. Two trips to Europe. Lots of love. Self-discovery. Belly laughs with friends. A deepened heart. A beginning and an end and a continuation. Questions. Answers. Frustration and tragedy and joy. A new job. A completely new life. Beautiful Christian community. Family and selfless love. I am struck by how impossible it would have been for me to plan all of this. All of it too wonderful or terrible for me to have imagined and put into action. An argument for divine sovereignty.
My desires for this year are vague, but pulse strong in my heart: Joy. Above all, joy. Simplicity. Health. Perseverance. To serve Christ with goodness and peace. Confidence and excitement. Overflowing delight in the details of life. Strengthened friendships. An outpouring of love and energy into youth. Discovery. Long summer days in Seattle. Hours logged in coffee shops, behind the counter and on overstuffed couches. Education? I certainly don't have a clue. I am at God's mercy, and luckily He is a merciful God.
I wouldn't exactly call it a quarter-life crisis. But it has been a struggle to squash thoughts of where I thought I'd be in life as I entered this new and golden year. It is important I fight this battle. I get confused and panicked when I give weight to vague expectations and standards, and my own condemnation. It has been my challenge this week to climb out of the mire and perch on the edge, whence I can view my life from God's perspective. Fresh, clean air. New life.
I repeat it often to convince myself: He isn't disappointed in me. And I know it is true. He knew I would be exactly at this spot on the eve of my 24th birthday, having accomplished very little, and also very much. Having reached a place where I am starting to be less concerned about accomplishing anything at all. This is progress.
This season of my life must be allowed to simply unfold. My mind cleared of specific goals and expectations, I find short- and long-term planning impossible. So I am trying this new experiment: I live each day as it comes. The benefit is that I can breathe. The challenge is that I don't understand the greater purpose behind everything I do each day and sometimes this freaks me out. Maybe my biggest fear is meaninglessness.
But I like being carried by life right now instead of paddling to beat the current.
Faithful.
God has been committed to seeing me through this year even when I've been ready to throw in the towel, when I don't want to do life anymore. He continues to poke and prod me toward a better existence. He has been my constant companion.
I don't know what 24 brings. But I give thanks for the unexpected happenings of 23: A year of Christian missions administration. Two trips to Europe. Lots of love. Self-discovery. Belly laughs with friends. A deepened heart. A beginning and an end and a continuation. Questions. Answers. Frustration and tragedy and joy. A new job. A completely new life. Beautiful Christian community. Family and selfless love. I am struck by how impossible it would have been for me to plan all of this. All of it too wonderful or terrible for me to have imagined and put into action. An argument for divine sovereignty.
My desires for this year are vague, but pulse strong in my heart: Joy. Above all, joy. Simplicity. Health. Perseverance. To serve Christ with goodness and peace. Confidence and excitement. Overflowing delight in the details of life. Strengthened friendships. An outpouring of love and energy into youth. Discovery. Long summer days in Seattle. Hours logged in coffee shops, behind the counter and on overstuffed couches. Education? I certainly don't have a clue. I am at God's mercy, and luckily He is a merciful God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
