!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's an excerpt from my prayer of praise tonight. Awesome stuff going on right now, thanks for letting me share! :)

"LOOOOOOOORD! Thank you so much for all the amaaaaazing blessings of today! Oh, they’re too many to count, but I’ll give you the highlights. First is that I took my car in today to have it buffed out and get a little shinier, and when I came to pick it up, it was PAINTED – they gave my car a new paint job!!!!! They said they had extra paint and it was easier to paint than it would have been to buff it out. Oh my gosh. It looks totally brand new, I never could have imagined that this would happen. It’s so wonderful because I didn’t even think the thought before I got there, like, “Oh, maybe they painted it too!” or something….thank you that it was a total surprise, beyond what I could have imagined happening. This is so beyond me…the mechanics were sitting around when I got there, and the car was pulled into the middle of the shop. At first I thought it was just wet or something, like they had just washed it, and I didn’t understand at first that they had actually PAINTED it. I thought they were joking when they said that! I couldn’t even speak, I was so amazed! It looks so beautiful!!!! What an enormous blessing! One of the mechanics laughed and said, “Hey, it’s like ‘Pimp My Ride’” and it totally was! I felt like I was on some candid camera tv show. They practically gave me a new car!!! Ooh geez. I’m SO excited to see it in the daylight and drive it around. What an amazing evening. I’m so glad I got to come see it tonight when everyone was there to know how grateful I was, instead of tomorrow when no one would be there. They were even going to come pick me up at my house to take me to get it! I’m so amazed by Jeff and his workers. It's time for an unabashed plug of the West Coast Collision Center in Mountlake Terrace. Amazing.

Second blessing…Waterfront Coffee Company finally called me today, out of the blue. They realized they needed more workers. I’ll go in for an interview on Monday. Remind me to not be nervous. The most amazing and lovely part of this whole situation is that at the beginning of the summer, you taught me that whatever unfolded this summer, that you were in charge of it. You have total control over whatever happens. Knowing that helped me accept the fact that the Company didn’t call, and to realize that it must not have been planned for me to work there. That you had something else in mind. I’ve been able to enjoy every day since summer began, just taking them as they have come, because I know that you have me where you want me. You are sovereign. So I guess the thing I’m most excited about was that you helped me let go of the job, of the vision of me working at the beach for the summer. And now that you’ve opened the door back up, it’s no longer my idol. I don’t worship that vision. I know I’ll be just as okay to continue waking up every morning without a job, not knowing what the day will bring. Thank you so much for helping me to trust you in this. Which reminds me….this is an answer to prayer! I prayed this morning, I think, that you would give me money to travel the world. That you would give me jobs as you see fit. And I still don’t know for sure that I have this job, at all. But I thank you that them calling today helped me realize what an awesome thing it is that you’ve done in my heart.

Other great things of today…got to spend bonding time with Adam. Found shoes for Tasia’s wedding that only cost about $10 (from $42) after clearance and the use of my birthday gift card. That was great! Adventure #1 of the day: I went rollerblading, realized I didn't know how, sidestepped down the first hill on the Interurban trail, had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to give up on this exercising adventure, so I trudged with my rollerblades into the woods next to the trail and tried to remember what my dad's camping book said about which plants were poisonous. Adventure #2: Got totally stuck ankle-deep in the mud when I walked Buster today, and was able to laugh about it as I pulled my flipflops from where they got sucked underground :)

I don’t know why, but you’ve led me into a huge season of contentment and rest and faith and blessing. I don’t know why, but I’m amazingly grateful. Thank you for showing your love to me in these ways. I pray these lessons you’re teaching me will last on even when if these amazing blessings dry up or something. "

tons of blessings today

I'm sitting here using my new upstairs internet connection. Friends stopped by before youth group and installed this for me...I had no clue they were coming, and it was such an awesome surprise.

I took a walk when I woke up, a rainy European morning. I loved the weather today, which leads me to blessing #2: I wasn't depressed at all when I woke up to grey skies. A HUGE improvement over earlier attitudes.

Birds singing outside, even in the evening dark. Smelling freshly-baked cookies, supposed to be vanilla but taste like sugar cookies, wonderful all the same. I had a good time reading through Hebrews with Katie Pedersen today. Totally confusing but really good to be reading the Bible. A short chat with Jessica on her break, and no more bangs in my eyes.

I'm making small, underneath changes in my attitudes toward things. I'm struggling to deal with my mom dating and being gone every night. I pictured how when she walked out the door to go to dinner, I would say "Have a nice night!" with raised eyebrows and a smile so maybe I'd convince even myself that I meant it. The truth is, I miss my mom. Even though I'm 21 and should have a life of my own. I know, I know.

Realizing that my passive-aggressiveness finds release in eating crappy food I don't really want and I'm not hungry for. I need to speak, honest words, instead of stuffing my face.
But life is good. That's all I have for now. God bless you guys.

HHHHHEEEEYEYEEEAHHH!

My paper's done! My quarter's done! I NEVER have to think about those classes again!! And I'm really sorry for those who still have a week left, but I am SUPER HAPPY. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUSTON AND HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY STEVE!! It's time now for me to go watch Garden State or write a song or read or do WHATEVER I want. A parting thought, as I log off in bliss tonight...

"God Said No" lyrics - Dan Bern

i met god on the edge of town where the wind meets the stillness where the darkness meets the light where the ocean meets the sky where the desert meets the rain where the earth meets the heavens on the edge of town i met god

i asked god, do one thing for me send me back in time, send me to seattle let me go find kurt cobain take away his gun, take away his bullets talk to him, make him want to live tell him how we love him, help him see his glory

god said no, if i sent you back, if you really found him you would only ask him if he could help you get a deal if he knows a lawyer, if he could help you god said no

i asked god, do one thing for me send me back in time, send me to berlin let me find the one they call hitler i will stalk him, i will bring him down i will bring along a powerful gun, loaded with bullets obliterate his memory

god said no, if i sent you back you would get caught up in theory and discussion you would let your fears delay and distract you you would make friends, you would take a lover god said no

i asked god, do one thing for me send me back in time, send me to jerusalem let me go, let me go find jesus let me save his life as they try to kill him let me take him down, down from the cross take the iron from his body, try to heal his wounds

god said no, if i let you go, if you really found him walking with the cross you would stare your tongue no longer working, eyes no longer seeing, ears no longer hearing

god said dan, time belongs to me time's my secret weapon, a final advantage god turned away from the edge of town he knew i was beaten and now was all i had

god said no

a glimpse into my world right now

Title:Sommer

Can a Mathematician See Red?

Consider the sphere -
A hollow rounded surface
with no thickness.
Each point that we see
from the outside
is also a point we can see
from the inside.

If I paint red
all over the outside,
is the inside red?

The mathematician says NO,
for the layer of paint
forms a news sphere
that is outside the outside
and not a bit inside.

A mathematician
takes safe pleasure
in surface mysteries.

A poet
will see red
inside.

-JoAnne Growney